On the last day of 2009, I would like to talk about...

what touches me.

1. When my girls say "I love you Mummy".
2. When a student from 1 semester ago, remembered a song I was looking for, and actually messaged me to tell me she found the title and singer name.
3. When students, previously perceived to be lazy or had poor learning attitudes, actually turned around, put in effort and produced decent results.
4. When people around me surprised me with their resilience in times of adversity.

And many many more.

2009 has been a tough year. One friend had depression for 2 months, another passed away in Oct, my family went through some turbulences and there are many changes in my career. 2009 has been filled with blessings too. That friend with depression recovered, the family of my deceased friend is facing life head on, the family turbulences are manageable and I still love what I am doing.

So there's always 2 sides to a coin. 2 ways to see a half filled (or half empty) glass.

I am looking forward to 2010.

Learning Through play

Yan's English teacher told me that Yan cannot recognise letters and numbers, even though she is familiar with all the basic shapes and colours. She advised us to expose her to the alphabet and numbers more through play. Here's one attempt at getting her to learn the numbers through a jumping game!

Parent teacher meeting

I met with Rui and Yan teachers last Thu for a quick review of their performance in school so far. It is standard procedure in all pre-schools.

The 2 girls are academically and socially competent, according to their teachers. What pleased me most, however, was a comment from their Chinese teacher (they share the same Chinese teacher). She told me that it is very enviable to have 2 wonderful girls like Rui and Yan. She thinks it is a blessing to have daughters like them, who are not only doing well in school, but are kind-hearted, independent and well-adjusted.

My heart was all warm and fuzzy after hearing that.

A budding artist





These are some pictures drawn by Rui. I thought they were pretty good. The proportions of the figures were about right, the strokes were bold and confident and the details showed creativity. In short, she has some artistic skills that her Momma never had.

What a weekend!

We had a hectic weekend. Ben's mum and sis were in town. The kids were excited to see them. In fact, they get excited whenever someone comes over to visit and stays over.

On Saturday, I brought the girls to see The Jungle Book with Aunt E and Tessa and Jacob. It was a good play. All the children thoroughly enjoyed it. It helped that we were sitting in the first row cos that meant they were real close to the action on stage. Downside was the adults had sore necks from craning our necks. After the play, we went to Marina Square to check out the Winx club fairies live show! Ben and I had chanced upon the show last Sat and we secretly planned to bring the girls there and to spring them a surprise. The girls were happy they got to meet Stella, Bloom, Layla, Mussa and Techna!

On Sunday, Ben took part in the marathon. He clocked 7hrs. He was pretty disappointed with the timing but to me, being able to complete the race was good effort enough! Rui surprised me by trying out the kids bungee and sphere ball. I had always thought her to be slightly timid and would not want to try such adventurous stuff. I even told the game master by the side to not swing her too high. I should not have done that as she totally relished the experience of kids bungee. I have to remind myself to NOT watch out for her that much in the future. That's how they grow and learn, isn't it?

Then on Monday, we brough the inlaws and the girls to the zoo. We spent half a day checking out the animals and the rainforest water play area. In the evening we met Auntie Pik Har for dinner at Suntec City before we sent Ben's mum and sis to catch the coach home to Ipoh.

What a weekend.

身为母亲

十年前的我,绝对没有想到自己会这么享受当母亲的过程。

年轻时的我,完全以自己为中心,什么都以享乐为重。一直觉得,当人家妈妈是一件辛苦又磨人的苦差。

可是现在,我十分享受和两个小孩在一起的时光, 并且愿意为了她们,牺牲自己的时间与精神。因为两个小孩乖巧听话,使我觉得和她们在一起是一件很快乐的事!

小孩子带给我们的愉快,是很纯真,很真挚的。我希望,我也为孩子们的生活增添了乐趣。

蕊和妍,谢谢你们出现在妈妈的生命里!

About Michelle

2 things happened over the weekend that were related to Mich.

First thing. We went to her niche at the church on Sat. It is a quiet little space but it has already been tastefully done up by Sean and Mich's parents. There were tufts of fake grass, some fake flowers, a keychain bearing her name and a little note from Nellie and Hwei Ming sending their birthday greetings to Mich. Shyan added her little cards telling her Momma how much she loves her. Mich looked beautiful and full of life in the photo on her niche.

Second thing. Some weeks earlier, when I was logged on in FB, I saw a little FB reminder that said "You have not been communicating to Michelle Ong Lee Eng. Write on her wall." (or something to that effect). Back then, I wondered if I will continue to get such poignant reminders and what I should do about them. And then last weekend I read on newspapers about memoralising a loved one's FB account after the person has passed on. Should we do that for Mich?

The many faces of Yan

 
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The many faces of Rui

 
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Some VIPs we took pictures with / of



Was going through my phone camera and found these.

Rare to get snapshots of important people. So better feature them here.

Met Mr Teo Ser Luck at the Sengkang Punggol Run. Bumped into Dr Mahathir in a KL mall!

I want my sweet!

Yan was running a fever last night. We woke her up to feed her ibrufen to ward off the fever. She had earlier tasted paracetamol and didn't like the taste. So she struggled in her sleep and resisted the ibrufen as it tasted similar. To entice her, I said "eat your medicine and mummy will give you sweet ok?". She didn't relent. We had to force the meds down her throat as she howled.

Later, as I was patting her back to sleep, she mumbled, eyes still closed "Tomorrow give me my sweet ok?" I didn't think she was listening just now and was surprised she wanted me to honour my promise. What a glutton!

It's Taiwan afterall...

The final scoreline. 0-1 to the parents.

We have decided we will go Taiwan afterall. We have been to HK too many times and Taiwan seems like a better place to enjoy scenery and the natural environment. We can always visit the theme park when it opens in Singapore IR next year.

I am so excited!

To taiwan, or HK?

Ben and I are planning a trip to somewhere in March 2010. We had initially decided on Taiwan. I have always wanted to visit Taiwan. I look forward to all the 小吃,夜市,民宿,温泉。We had almost booked airtickets to Taiwan.

Last night, Rui overheard us talking about booking flight tickets. She asked if we are going Disneyland. I said no, it's too expensive to go there. She was visibly disappointed and even threw a slight tantrum. I told her off, saying that we are not very well off and going Disneyland would mean we will not be able to afford the frills in life. I told her that she can't always get what she wants and that there are some children who can't even afford basic needs like food and clothing and education. She sounded convinced, albeit reluctantly.

Ben, the more obliging parent between us two, decided we should follow the children's wishes and go to Disneyland. "Afterall," he reasoned, "there's nothing much for the children to do in Taiwan". I agreed, and so it's off to HK and to Disneyland now. I am not so sure if we are sending the right message to Rui though.

1-0 to the kids.

Chinese Opera, Italian Style




Picture this:

A long table of 7 adults and 8 kids. Delicious italian food on the table. Spaghetti, pizza, rosemary chicken, chips, drinks...you name it, we had it. And chinese opera going on in the foreground. That was our dinner setting last night!

After a hard game of badminton and other sports, we headed to Pizza De Donato at Ghim Moh for the yummy italian fare. What we didn't expect, was a prayer session going on next to the restaurant and chinese opera playing at the same time.

The children had never seen a chinese opera show before (sadly, our younger generation is out of touch with its roots). They were intrigued by all the gongs, the high-pitched singing, the painted faces and the opera dancing and movements that came along with it. They were running around, half-watching the opera, half-eating their dinners.

This must be the most unique dining experience we have ever had.

Haircut


Unlike most children, Yan LOVES to get her hair cut. She would sit obediently in the chair, would tilt her head this way and that and would stay still for the stylist, without protest. And after, she would look admiringly in the mirror to check out her new hairdo. "So cute my hair!" she would self-praise.

A conversation about Halloween

This conversation took place between Rui and Ben last night.

Rui : " I want to be dressed up as a fairy. I want to make a magic wand."
Ben : "Ok. Let's make one now."
Rui : "Yan will also be a fairy. I want to make a wand for her too"
Ben : "OK."
Rui : " What will Mummy be dressed up as?"
Ben : "(stammering) err... she will just be mummy. That's scary enough."

Our helper Yayu overheard and burst out laughing. I laughed too, despite myself.

Duh...

How do I know I miss her?

I know I miss Michelle because
1. I dream of her
2. I look through old emails from her, just to reminisce how it feels to read an email from her
3. I look at ther FB account, although it is definitely, absolutely not active anymore.
4. I put a photo of her at my desk and take a peep at her occasionally.
5. I look at all the pictures we have taken together.
6. I get the sudden urge to press her hp no. on my mobile.

Bottle Tree Park





This vacation has been a hectic one for me. I had to prepare for a new course in the new semester and also had to frequently visit Mich in hospital. I could not spend time with my girls the way I used to during previous vacation breaks. So right after Mich's funeral, I decided I had to take a day off and be with the girls. I brought them to the Bottle Tree Park at Yishun.

It was quiet on a weekday. There were only 2 other visitors other than us. We had wanted to do longkang fishing but the pond was being cleaned. We hanged around, watched the 2 uncles catch prawns, checked out the rabbits, goose and chickens and the vegetable farms. I thought the girls would be bored stiff but it turned out they had enjoyed themselves. I guess, it's the company that counts.

We returned again the following Sat. This time, together with Ben. The girls did longkang fishing this time although we only managed to catch 4! Yan was very excited when she finally caught one but it was a dead fish! We didn't want to disappoint her so we commended her effort and subsequently chucked the dead fish away.

Julian is all grown up!



Julian was over at our place one weekend while the rest of the family were busy with Shyan's concert. Julian has always had a reputation for being a mischievious boy. However, when he was over at our place, he was really well-behaved! He was happy doing his art work with Yan, ate up all his lunch including his greens all by himself, and behaved well when I brought them to the park. The naughty boy is all grown-up!

Rui the narrator

Rui was the narrator at the last speech and drama in school. She managed most of her lines!

Eulogy

I was asked to give a eulogy on Mich really last minute. In fact, when I was told I had to do it, I was standing naked in the bath! I screwed it up, I thought. If I were given a second chance, and had given more thought to it, this would be what I would have said.

That Mich, despite having suffered from tremendous pain and discomfort throughout her treatment for her blood disorder, never divulged much of it to us or to her immediate family. Whenever we enquired how she was feeling, she would give a nonchalant reply such as "Oh, I feel more tired" or "Oh I feel slightly nausea". I remember thinking "Wah and I thought chemo is supposed to be very unbearable". It was only when she was hospitalised did we find out from her sis that she had witheld how she was suffering from us and her parents and hubby so that it would not worry us too much. She only confided in a cousin who worked nearby. That's the thoughtful Mich.

That Mich, would not spend on herself too much, and would rather buy all the fanciful clothes in the world for her 2 precious children. I hardly see Shyan repeat her clothes. As for Julian, due to the limited choice of boys' clothes, had less frequent change of apparels but still always managed to look more well-dressed than the rest of the boys. I get so many hand-me-downs from Mich I have stopped buying clothes for Rui and Yan. To acede to her children's request for an overseas trip, she was willing to look past her tiredness and treatment discomfort and was planning a trip a day before she lapsed into a coma. That's the loving mother Mich.

That Mich, was never a judgemental person. She would not pass a harsh judgement on anyone based on what she heard. Instead, she would allow herself to get to know the person despite all the negative remarks that she had heard before forming her own opinion. That's the non-judgemental Mich.

That Mich, had SO MUCH fun clubbing together with us when we were younger. Madam Wong's, Wong San, Double O, Zouk. You name it, we had been there. She was our trusted clubbing buddy who never failed to inject fun into our night-outs. That's the fun-loving Mich.

That Mich, was so well-supported during her final days in the hospital. Her friends, colleagues and relatives turned up in droves. Everyday for the past 3 weeks. Despite everyone's punishing work schedules, many people were there to support her and her family. And everyone only had good things to say about her and good memories of time spent with her. That's the popular girl Mich.

Michelle, sorry you couldn't hear this during the wake. I hope you get to read this from wherever you are now.

Michelle

I woke up after a 3-hour nap, feeling still groggy and suffering from a nagging migrane. These are the after effects of insufficient sleep and constant sobbing over the last 2 days. The bunch of us had stayed overnight at Michelle's wake and only managed 2-hour sleep. I am glad that I did that for Michelle's final moments on this earth though. It made me feel better and more comforted that I have done more of my part as a friend.

From now on,there will be no more mad rush to hospital, no more worrying sms-es over the handphone and no more touching and talking to Michelle on her hospital bed. It is a sadly empty feeling. The same feeling I had when my mum passed away 5 years ago.

Life goes on. But it will be different without Michelle.

Goodbye Mich. Thanks for the friendship, the laughter and the fun we have had together.

The usual gathering - without mich

We had our usual 5-family gathering yesterday at Aunt E's, without the Tans as they are away in Nippon Land and of course, without mich.

The kids did their usual swimming. They enjoyed the water slide tremendously. Yan Yan was brave enough to go down the slide herself! The men went for their badminton session midway, leaving us women to care for the children.

After that, as I was sitting on the sofa, watching the TV, I really felt the absence of mich. The last time I was sitting on the same sofa, michelle was right next to me. I can't recall what we talked about, or whether we talked at all, but it has become so comfortable in her company, that I can feel totally at ease with her even in silence. When we walked around at the mall after dinner, I was thinking of mich too, of how she had wished she had bought more clothes from a particular shop for her Julian as they had fitted him perfectly.

We all miss her so much.

中秋节-月圆人团圆



昨天是中秋节,是一家大小团圆的日子。

我们和孩子们提了灯笼,到花园去散步,感受一下节日的气氛。

Shyan and Julian

I went to fetch Shyan and Julian to Aunt V's place so that they can play with Dylan and Darren as their school is closed today due to Children's Day. During the journey there, the 2 started singing ABC and other songs that the CD player was playing. They are oblivious to the crisis that is occurring at home. The sense of poignancy was overwhelming.

I decided to let Rui come home at noon to play with Shyan since the girls play better together and also since Dylan will be going to school in the afternoon. Rui will be thrilled, and so will Shyan.

I dreamt of Mich

I dreamt of mich last night. I can't remember exactly what it was about. In the dream, she was healthy and fine but I can recall a sense of franticness. I woke up feeling groggy and uneasy.

Mich, we are all rallying around you. I hope you can sense our support and use your will power to pull through this.

Heavy heart

We will be leaving to catch the coach to Malaysia in about 15 minutes' time. We had all been anticipating this trip with excitement. The girls were looking forward to sitting in a bus with personal TV while I was just looking forward to the yummy food and seeing Ben's family again. However, as at this point, I am leaving with a heavy heart. My friend is still in a critical condition. I can't shake off the image of her lying in a coma on the hospital bed.

I hope that when we return in 4 days' time, we will be told some good news. Any good news. So that we may have hope again.

脆弱的人生

当你的好友,刚动完脑部手术,卧病在床,随时有生命危险。而一天前,这位朋友,才刚刚和你见面,聊天,玩牌吃饭。你不得不感慨,生命实在太无常,太脆弱了。

我们必须珍惜眼前人,当下事。

我的朋友,你要加油。

The party of 5 families




I have been receiving "complaints" that I update my blog too infrequently. So here it goes, 3 posts in a day!

The usual party of 5 families met up on Monday at Aunt V's place. We had good old steamboat for lunch, followed by sticky date pudding. Aunt V has always been a great and competent cook and hostess so all of us had a yummy good time.

The men, sans Ben and KL, then adjourned for their badminton session. They are hooked on the sport and nothing can tear them away from it. The rest of us stayed on, gossiped, chatted and played CHOR TAI TEE. Ben provided the most laughs as he was clueless with the game. We lost count of the number of times he proclaimed that he had the "best cards" and was "definitely going to win" but then eventually not winning. When the "baddies" came back from their badminton session, they hijacked our chor table.

All this while, the children played happily amongst themselves.

What a relaxing way to spend the holiday.

Rui can Read!

The Gastronomer



Yan has quite different tastes in food from Rui. She loves her sweets, chocolates and cakes, whereas Rui is not big fan of those. The other interesting thing Yan LOVES to eat are the Heong Bang, or, "circle biscuits" as she calls them. She packs one in her schoolbag everyday and nobody can take that away from her for her snack. She relishes each "circle biscuit" with the same delight as any gastronomer would have when savouring ,say, foie gras or escargots.

The Gatecrasher

Rui's chinese enrichment class held its last lesson on Saturday and the parents were all invited to witness how the class was conducted. The lesson typically started with a drama section, where the students and teachers re-enacted a scene out of a story. Along the way, they had to learn chinese characters that were depicted in the story. These characters would be familiar to the students as they had learnt them through the 10-week term. By acting out the story, students got to revise the chinese characters in a fun and engaging way. Having been brought up to learn chinese through memorising and drilling, we all thought this was a very innovatinve way to learn the otherwise tough language. Yan, in her enthusiasm, decided to join her big sis in class. She insisted on playing a part in the story drama. The teacher had to let her play the role of a fox. She cooperated well and had loads of fun.

妈妈死后,我会想念妈妈(下段)

We found out the reason for Rui's emotional thoughts about death.

They have been learning about life cycle in school. About how, every living creature on earth starts off as baby, grows up to be adult, finally ages and dies. She learnt that all human beings will come to earth as little babies, grow up to be in N1, N2, K1 , K2, go off to primary school and eventually die of old age. All that knowledge, made her wonder about the impending death of her mommy and daddy.

Rui is a thinker.

If Rui can cook, so can you!



The girls' childcare centre holds regular cooking class for the older children. I think this is a great way for children to refine their motor skills, coordination skills, learn teamwork as well as, simply to have some fun!

2 days ago, Rui's class had to make cheese sandwiches. She came home, talked a lot about it to us, and told us she wanted to make sandwiches for us. She even thought of mimicking the teacher and wanted to divide us into groups of 2 to allocate the sandwiches. However, since there were only 5 of us in the family, that plan didn't quite work out.

So last night, she tried out what she learnt in school. The procedure went like this (in Rui Rui's words)

1. Ok, first we take out the cheese from the plastic
2. Now, we cut the bread into 2 triangles using a pair of scissors
3. We cut the cheese into triangles using a plastic knife
4. Put the cheese on one triangular piece of bread
5. Put the other triangular piece of bread on top
6. Cut the sandwiches into even smaller triangles for easy eating.

Voila! Rui Rui's self made cheese sandwich. Yan Yan polished off most of it.

New Friends!





Last weekend, we met up with Auntie Jean, Uncle Kok Yam and their 2 girls Rachel and Emma at Botanical Gardens. It has been a while since we last met. The last time we did, the girls were shy and did not play well together. This time round, they warmed up quickly and enjoyed one another's company tremendously. Before long, the girls were holding hands, playing hide-and-seek together, whispering secrets into one another's ears. It helped that Rachel and Emma had lots of girly toys at home too.

我的妈妈真美丽!

昨晚,妍突然脱口说,“我的妈妈真美丽!”我们全家笑翻。因为此说法再正确不过了!:)

妈妈死后,我会想念妈妈

昨天晚上,当一家四口关灯上床后,蕊爬到我的身边,轻声地对我说:”妈妈,你以后老了死了,我会想念妈妈。”

我一听,睡意顿时全消,急忙说:“蕊,妈妈的妈妈已经死了,可是妈妈还是活得开心,因为妈妈有你们和爸爸。所以以后就算妈妈死了,蕊还是会开心, 因为蕊会有自己的孩子和丈夫。”

她听了, 难过地说:“可是我会想念妈妈。。”我只好安抚她,告诉她妈妈会陪她直到很久,直到妈妈很老。我又问她是谁跟她提起这件事。她回答说是她自己想到的。

我常跟我的朋友说蕊很感性,却没想过她居然会自己提起死亡这个话题。现在的小孩子,都这么早熟吗?

我是好宝宝

为了鼓励小朋友们自己走路而不是让家长抱,学校老师教了小朋友一首儿歌,叫“我是好宝宝”。看,昕妍唱得一本正经。

Good Cook III



Two more dishes created by Auntie Yayu - Sphagetti with Tuna as well as fried seafood cum vegetable rolls.

Up!

We caught the newest movie by Pixar, Up!, with Auntie E, Uncle I, Tessa and Jacob. This is our second attempt at the movies with Yan.

For an animated feature film, it was incredibly touching and really well crafted. We had read a review previously that the first 10 minutes of the movie, tracing the life of the couple before the wife passed away, will be very moving. It turned out to be completely true. Ben told me after that he had teared during that part. It takes ALOT to make Ben tear...

There were lots of touching moments as well as funny bits. We thought it was truly imaginative for the creative team to come up with such an interesting storyline from an every child's dream of flying towards adventure. Yan Yan must have been equally intrigued too cos she sat through the 1.5hour film without fidgeting.

We strongly recommend this movie to everyone.

Good cook II


Here's the curry noodles Yayu made on Monday night. It was delicious, though it could be spicier.

Good cook

Our new helper, Yayu, is a pretty decent cook. She likes to try out new recipes. So far, she has tried making noodle soup, duck curry (we were not used to it as we have been eating chicken curry all our life), nasi goreng (very yummy! Probably cos it's her "native" dish), roti lada, curry noodles and even strawberry ice-cream!

I will upload pictures of the wonderful dishes soon.

Rock Chicks

My 2 girls are exposed to lots of pop and rock music in the car. Gone are the days when we played nursery rhymes while cruising.

It started off with Jason Mraz (I'm yours) and Mika. Yan could sing parts of it! Then chinese pop like 一百种生活(卢广仲)。After that it was Katy Perry with her Hot and Cold and One of the Boys. And now the latest craze is Lady Gaga!

Funny thing is, each girl has a different favourite song usually. Rui likes One of the Boys and Eh Eh while Yan prefers Hot n Cold and Pokerface.

I will have company to rock/pop concerts in the future.

Potting around at home





Rui Rui received a unique gift this birthday - a pottery set from Aunt W and Uncle KL!

It is a child version of a pottery set but it comes complete with the rotating disk (I don't know what is the technical term for that. Anyone?), a packet of clay (Aunt W was considerate and bought us refills) , tools for shaping and decorating the pieces and paint to colour them after.

It was not easy in the beginning. The clay would move out of position as you try to mould it as the rotating disk rotates. Other times, the disk gets stuck. Certainly not something that can be easily done by a 5-year old, a 3-year old and a clumsy and utterly un-artistic 35-year old.

So Ben was left to complete the Herculean task.

The products turned out pretty decent though. After 2 days of air drying, the girls painted them last night.

Ben will attempt to create a vase next. : )

The tumble

I got a call yesterday morning from childcare centre that Yan and Rui have fallen from the top of the stairs in school. My heart was in my mouth when the teacher told me that she has "some bad news for me". This is a phrase any parent wouldn't want to hear from the teachers.

The teacher later explained that the girls had gone upstairs (Yan is not supposed to do that as her class is on first floor) and Yan had wanted her sister to carry her. Rui couldn't refuse and did just that. They lost their footing and fell all the way to landing. Yan had a bump on her head and Rui had bruises on arm and leg. Other than that they appear fine. Yan didn't cry much, according to the teacher but Rui did, not out of pain, but out of the fear that she will be reprimanded by the teachers!

I didn't realise the possible severity till I was told how high they fell from and also that blood clot could have formed in Yan's brain. It could have been worse. But we are not taking chances. We emailed to the school to take precautions and we ourselves will talk to the girls to be safe.

Yan's thumb


I realised, recently, that Yan's thumbs do not have the lower joint that most of us have. Her thumbs are super flexible as a result. They can bend more than normal thumbs can and the lower joints protrude out more. They look funny when she does the "thumbs-up".

Staycation









We stayed at Amara Sanctuary Resort at Sentosa over the last weekend. This would be our "holiday getaway" for the June vacation as we deem it unsafe and inconvenient to travel overseas and face the possibility of home quarantine or even worse, falling ill from H1N1.

We took the Staycation package with the hotel. It comes with 1 night stay, luge tickets, Songs of the Sea tickets, free breakfast and loads of fun!

The girls took the luge for the second time and had their virgin ride on the skyride. The height was daunting to us adults, more so than to the kids! After that, we went for a walkaround at Palawan beach and caught an interesting puppet show. When dusk fell, we caught the show "Songs of the Sea". It was tacky but the kids enjoyed it nevertheless. Yan yan wanted more of the "fire show".

We knocked out once we hit the sack. The next morning, we went over to a Auntie QC's hotel for a good 1+ hr swim. We then checked out of the hotel, went for lunch and headed home.

It was a short, but fun-filled Staycation!